Why Young Adults Dream of Retirement and What Awaits

Time that belongs to you

For many young people, work means showing up whatever the weather, while studying means pushing aside meals and sleep. Hobbies and leisurely pleasures must wait behind more pressing demands. Even being temporarily out of work brings its own pressure: the stigma of being seen as someone who does nothing.

Retirees, by comparison, can look wonderfully unhurried. Their days appear to belong to them. Some continue working; others volunteer, take classes or training, spend quiet days looking after their health, or travel and take vacations. The possibilities are varied.

For workers counting down the days until their next break, that freedom is an enormous attraction. An older person following their own interests at a peaceful pace also presents a striking contrast to a world that seems perpetually hurried, restless, and urgent.

On nights when keeping up with the competition feels impossible, it is tempting to fast-forward to retirement: one long stretch of time without a boss or performance reviews.

The energy we thought youth would give us

Young people sometimes joke that they have bodies in their twenties or thirties and the vitality of someone in their seventies or eighties. Yet many middle-aged and older people seem to have more energy than the young people making the joke. They live healthily, remain interested in life, and persist once they have chosen a goal.

While younger people read reports of someone ending up in the emergency room after staying up late and anxiously compare the story with their own habits, older people have already established a daily exercise routine following videos on their phones.

While younger people announce ambitious plans to take up a hobby, older people have quietly produced accomplished work of their own. Their attention to health, sustained commitment to their interests, and the results of that commitment can leave younger observers feeling outdone.

When, we wonder, will we reach that point?

The perspective to let things go

Perhaps the most enviable quality of the retirees young people admire is their ability to take things in stride.

How many of us have heard a parent ask, “Why are you worrying so much about something so small?” A minor ache or symptom can set off a whole chain of health fears. Even a green mark left on the face by corroded eyeglass frames can send someone urgently searching to find out whether it might be skin cancer.

Then there are the choices that seem to determine the shape of an entire life. Is it worth leaving work to study full-time for postgraduate entrance exams? Is a doctorate worth pursuing? Is moving back to a smaller town for work a good idea? An uncertain future is difficult enough to navigate without online media selling anxiety at every turn.

Older people often seem more open-minded and emotionally steady. Watching a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law locked in an apparently endless television argument, an older viewer might simply sigh: “Oh, there’s no need for all that. You don’t have to become a grandmother.” And then let it go.

The experience behind that composure can seem like treasure. Many young people wish they could hurry through their current troubles and arrive at the wisdom and steadiness of someone who has weathered much more of life. Perhaps, looking back from there, today’s struggles would finally seem like small matters.

Is retirement as good as it looks?

Young people can invest retirement with beautiful expectations. But adapting the fortress metaphor associated with Qian Zhongshu, we might say: retirement is a fortress—the people outside want to get in, and the people inside want to get out.

Are retired people really free of worries? Are they enjoying the life others long for?

They may well be. Older adults may have greater emotional regulation and a stronger sense of well-being than younger people. They tend to be more optimistic, pay less attention to negative information, and focus more on the positive aspects of life, helping them maintain positive emotions.

The spread of active-aging ideas has also opened up more activities and ways to participate. Alongside health and care in later life, there is greater attention to social activity, involvement in society, and psychological fulfillment.

Most older people are rational, wise adults capable of independence and self-direction. Providing more opportunities and safeguards can allow them to begin a renewed phase of life in their later decades, instead of passively waiting at home for aging to take its course. That adds to the happiness available to them.

It also helps explain why retirement attracts so many younger people. When growing older no longer means being left behind, and your own retired relatives remain lively, vigorous, and wise, what reason is there to fear aging?

So, can retirement be happy? Perhaps it really can.

The worries that come with the freedom

Still, older relatives have reasons for saying, “Make the most of being young,” or, “Youth is wonderful.” Retirement can bring troubles of its own.

Wrinkles, white hair, and age spots; less flexible joints and less abundant energy; slower recall and less efficient learning—all these changes can limit the activities people choose in retirement.

Income also usually falls after leaving work. Even with more time available, retirees may worry about whether their financial reserves will be enough to support them.

People who have gained little sense of identity or personal worth from their work—often those with lower social status—may be more willing to retire. Yet this same group can be especially vulnerable to financial worries. Someone who has made relatively limited contributions to medical and social insurance, for example, may fear that a future illness could undermine the finances of the whole family.

Nor does everyone get to choose when to retire. Involuntary retirement can have more negative consequences.

Retirement is usually a process: deciding to retire, making plans, and finally leaving work. For someone retiring involuntarily, those stages may be compressed into a very short time. Being forced to retire by an employer can leave a person with no psychological preparation at all.

It can also bring a cluster of painful feelings: that their worth is no longer recognized, that someone else has suddenly stopped the central activity of their life, and that they have less control over what happens to them. Middle-aged and older people in this position are more likely to feel at a loss, experience low mood, or struggle to adjust.

Every stage of life has its pleasures. Every age also has its worries. And each stage rests on foundations laid in the one before it.

Preparing for later life while living this one

If the retirement we want includes enough money, enough time, and a peaceful approach to growing old, there is an obvious place to begin: earn money and build the resources to support it.

But preparation also means valuing our health and enjoying being young. This stage offers energy and opportunities to try things, make mistakes, and try again. Making use of those possibilities now can help us eventually say goodbye to youth peacefully and welcome older adulthood with greater composure.

We can also begin learning what later life is actually like. What are older people like? What does this period of life involve? Where do their wisdom and composure come from? How should younger people understand and relate to them?

Much anxiety about aging, and much of the belief that older people are no longer useful, comes from limited understanding of older adulthood. Learning more can reduce younger people’s fears about their own aging and help them offer greater understanding and support to older people around them.

That understanding benefits older adults, too. Recognizing the stage of life they are in can help them stop blaming themselves for normal changes associated with aging and can improve their positive emotions and sense of well-being.

Popular science books, video programs, and online resources offer many ways to learn. These resources are becoming more varied, engaging, accessible, and easy to understand. They lower the barriers to understanding later life and reflect a society becoming more responsive to older people.

As the population continues to age, overcoming age discrimination requires collective action. A warm, respectful social environment can help older adults continue contributing and realizing their personal value throughout their later decades.

Knowledge alone, though, only takes us so far. Care becomes tangible when it is directed toward particular people.

Make more time for retired relatives. Learn what they need, and offer support in the ways they are most willing to accept. Your presence can be an important source of their happiness: you help them feel secure and give them a deeply satisfying sense of belonging.